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The Carencia is the space in the bull ring where the Bull feels most safe. It is a space the bull will go to recharge themselves. It is a space where they can tap into their inner power. It is a space most feared by the bull fighter because when the Bull taps into their full power the bull is at his most dangerous. Until the Bull steps into his full power, he is afraid and scared of the Bull Fighter. The forces of Mara ( the Matador) remain with power and thus control over the situation.
Carencia can also be the space of the sacred pause! The pause we must take to take back our control and power. I was recently at a yoga training and a memory came up regarding a previous training I had been on. We were doing an exercise where we had to say NO, standing in our power so that our partner stopped coming into our space. An exercise on boundaries. I was working with a partner who was not respecting my boundaries and not respecting my NO. Over the period of 15 mins which felt like 100mins, I continuously gave away my power. As she continued to ignore me, I got more and more unbalanced until I literally exploded! I am not proud of my actions and in fact a deep shame resided around that exercise for a long time. This is what happens to us all - We react when not not in our power and this is surrounded by a deep feeling of shame and guilt. We hand our power away to the Mara ( the matador), causing us to become more unbalanced and then we explode. The power is in the sacred pause or finding our carencia where we can stop, pause, breath, regain power and respond to the situation while standing in our power! If working with the sacred pause is new to you please remember to bring compassion to yourself when opening up to this way of working. Yoga has been a great tool for teaching me the sacred pause. Each time I finish a sun salutation or Vignette I have a sacred pause to feel back into my body, re-center and rebuild my power, ready to start another round! Aromatherapy is also a good reminder to sit for 5 minutes and just breathe in the scent of an oil. It creates a moment to come back to center and to be in my power. When someone says something that triggers you and you often find yourself screaming at them or shouting or being so emotional you can't respond, you instead take 3 ( or more) deep breaths and either walk away or chose to respond to that person in a different way. The shock of not receiving fuel for their fire may change the whole dynamic of the situation going forward. This takes practice and work! Be gentle with yourself and know you may not get it right every time.
There are so many ways to find your sacred pause! Start today!
Come join me on the mat if you are interested in finding your sacred pause!
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